Dan Pink knows all about regrets. Hes got a few, and hes surveyed around 20,000 people about their own regrets. Yet Dan Pink inspires us with his quotes about regret. While this blog focusses on the top quotes from _The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward_ you can also read about his **Regret Optimisation Framework** in a summary of [our book club interview with Dan Pink](https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/danielpinkpowerofregret).

We've assembled so many inspiring Dan Pink quotes below, but before we get to the best quotes from _The Power of Regret_ lets meet its author.

Daniel H. Pink is the author of _New York Times_ bestsellers _Drive, To Sell is Human_ and _When._ His books have sold millions of copies, translated into 42 languages, and have won multiple awards. His latest book is _The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward._ One powerful quote from Dan Pink about his research is this one: _Ive discovered about myself what Ive discovered about others. Regret makes me human. Regrets makes me better. Regret gives me hope._

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Brief bio of Dan Pink

Below youll find dozens of top quotes from author Dan Pink, but we chose these three quotes for their positive take on the power of regret.

_When regret smothers, it can weigh us down, but when it pokes, it can lift us up._

We like this quote because if offers us hope when we have a regret. Dan says when you feel the spear of regret you have three possible responses; ignore or bury it \(leading to delusion\), wallow in it \(leading to despair\) or address it \(what can it offer for better decision-making?\). **Key takeaway:** Accept your regret and either do something about it or use it as a learning tool for making better future choices.

_The first step in reckoning with all regrets, whether regrets of action or inaction, is self-disclosure._

This comforting Dan Pink quote talks to the benefits of disclosing our thoughts, feelings, and actions  by telling others or simply by writing about then. Denying our regrets taxes our minds and bodies, he says. The better approach is to _relive_ and _relieve_ , he writes on p.170 of The Power of Regret. By divulging the regret, he says, we reduce some of its burden.

_If we know what we truly regret we know what we truly value._

This quote made the top 3 favourite quotes because its so fascinating. Like a photo negative which reverses light and dark when printed, regrets work much the same way. Dan Pink says that if we know what people regret the most we can reverse that image to reveal what they value the most.

Foundation regrets reveal the human need for stability, boldness regrets reveal a need for growth, moral regrets reveal a need for goodness and connection regrets reveal the need for love. Read on for explanations about each type of regret, and quotes specific to those types.

Our favourite 3 The Power of Regret quotes

Ive combed through _The Power of Regret_ \(thoroughly enjoying it, I might add\) and list below the most inspirational quotes about regrets. Plenty made the cut, so I've sorted them under Dan's book chapter headings. As bestselling author and speaker Bren Brown says on the books cover: Ive always known that regret deepened my connection to myself and to others, but now, thanks to Dans research and storytelling, I understand why.

More of our favourite quotes from Dan Pink.

Quotes from chapter Why Regret Makes Us Human

_Regret is not dangerous or abnormal, a deviation from the steady path to happiness._

_About one of every five people who get tattoos \(including presumably those with 'no regrets' tattoos\) eventually regret their decision._

_When we assemble the full line-up of negative emotions  sadness standing next to contempt perched beside guilt  one emerges as both the most pervasive and most powerful. Regret._

Regret makes us human. Regret makes us better.

_Regret is better understood less as a thing and more as a process._

_We can visit the past and the future in our heads. And, we can tell the story of something that never actually happened._

_Comparison lives at regrets core._

Nearly all regrets fall into four core categories  foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets.

_"At Leasts deliver comfort and consolation. If Onlys deliver discomfort and distress."_

_By making us feel worse today, regret helps us do better tomorrow._

Quotes from chapter At Leasts and If Onlys

_We need the ability to regret our poor decisions  to feel bad about them  precisely so we can improve those decisions in the future._

_When we handle it properly, regret can make us better._

_Too much regret is dangerous, sometimes devastating. It can lead to rumination, which severely degrades well-being, and to the regurgitation of past mistakes, which can inhibit forward progress._

Quotes from chapter Why Regret Makes Us Better

_Framing regret as a judgment of our underlying character  who we are  can be destructive._

_Framing regret as an opportunity rather than a threat helps us transform it  so that it operates as a sharp stick rather than a leaden blanket._

_Productive regrets aggravate, then activate._

_When feeling is for thinking and thinking is for doing, regret is for making us better._

Dont dodge emotions. Dont wallow in them either.

Quotes from chapter The Four Core Regrets #1: Foundation regrets

_We shirk in school and leave before we should. We overspend and undersave. We adopt unhealthy habits. When such decisions eventually cause the platform of our lives to wobble, and our futures to not live up to our hopes, regret follows._

_Foundation regrets arise from our failures of foresight and conscientiousness._

Foundation regrets sound like this: If only Id done the work.

_Our brains..play a double trick on us. They entice us into valuing the now too much and the later too little._

The slowly building force of all those poor decisions can arrive like a tornado  gradually and then suddenly.

_Chinese proverb: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time is today._

_What distinguishes regret from disappointment is personal responsibility._

_Think ahead. Do the work. Start now._

Weaknesses in ones foundation take time to develop and recognise.

Quotes from chapter The Four Core Regrets #2: Boldness regrets

_Over time we are much more likely to regret the chances we didnt take than the chances we did._

_With boldness regrets, we choose to play it safe. That may relieve us at first._

Boldness regrets sound like this: If only Id taken that risk.

_When we dont act, - when we dont step off that metaphorical train  we can only speculate how events would have unfolded._

In my own American Regret Project survey, inaction regrets outnumbered action regrets by nearly two to one.

_Boldness regrets endure because the counterfactual possibilities are so vast._

_At the heart of all boldness regrets is the thwarted possibility of growth._

_Many of those who did play it safe in their careers look at their choices from the vantage of midlife and wish they hadnt._

_I could instead launch an Expedia-for-the-regretful site, which would include special travel packages for the legions of college graduates in the surveys who regretted not studying abroad._

Inactions, by laying eggs under our skin, incubate endless speculation.

_The lesson is plain: Speak up. Ask him out. Take that trip. Start that business. Step off the train._

Authenticity requires boldness. And when authenticity is thwarted, so is growth.

Quotes from chapter The Four Core Regrets #3: Moral regrets

_Most of us want to be good people. Yet we often face choices that tempt us to take the low road._

_Deceipt. Infidelity. Theft. Betrayal. Sacrilege. Sometimes the moral regrets people submitted to the surveys read like the production notes for a Ten Commandments training video._

Moral regrets sound like this: If only Id done the right thing.

_To my mild disappointment, the surveys unearthed not a single modern-day Benedict Arnold or Judas Iscariot._

_There is something heartening about grown women and men waking up at night despairing over incidents decades earlier in their lives in which they hurt others, acted unfairly, or compromised the values of their community. It suggests that stamped somewhere in our DNA and buried deep in our souls is the desire to be good._

When we behave poorly, or compromise our own belief in our own goodness, regret can build and then persist.

The lessonis this: When in doubt, do the right thing.

Quotes from chapter The Four Core Regrets #4: Connection regrets

 _With connection regrets, the human need is love._

_Fractured or unrealised relationships with spouses, partners, parents, children, siblings, friends, classmates, and colleagues constitute the largest deep structure category of regret._

_People often talk about regrets in terms of doors. Amy has a closed door regretCheryl has an open door regret._

Connection regrets sound like this: If only Id reached out.

_Closed door regrets vex us because we cant fix them. Its over._

Closed door regrets distress us because we cant do anything about them. Open door regrets bother us because we can, though it requires effort.

_What give our lives significance and satisfaction are meaningful relationships._

When our connections to others tatter or disintegrate, we suffer. And when its our fault, we suffer even more.

_The four core regrets operate as a photographic negative of the good life. If we know what people regret the most, we can reverse that image to reveal what they value the most._

Quotes from chapter Opportunity and Obligation

_Failures to become our ideal selves are failures to pursue opportunities. Failures to become our ought selves are failures to fulfill obligations._

Regrets of coulda outnumbered regrets of shoulda by about three to one.

_As people grew older, inaction regrets began to dominate. By age 50, inaction regrets were twice as common as action regrets._

_Among those ages 30 through 65, regrets about career and finances were most prevalent  likely because, at that stage in life, opportunities were still alive in those realms._

_A life of obligation and no opportunity is crimped. A life of opportunity and no obligation is hollow. A life that fuses opportunity and obligation is true._

The result is that opportunity and obligation sit at the center of regret, but opportunity has the more prominent seat.

For action regrets, your initial goal should be to change the immediate situation for the better.

We can undo many such regrets: we can make amends, reverse our choices, or erase the consequences.

We are more apt to repair what we did than what we didnt do.

Quotes from chapter Undoing and At Leasting

At Leasts can turn regret into reliefthey change how we feel about our behaviour, which can be valuable.

 _Rather than ignoring the negative emotion of regret  or worse, wallowing in it  we can remember that feeling is for thinking and that thinking is for doing._

_Writing about a regret or revealing a regret to another person moves the experience from the realm of emotion into the realm of cognition._

Quotes from chapter Disclosure, Compassion, and Distance

_The people who addressed their regret with self-compassion were more likely to change their behaviour than those who approached their regret with self-esteem._

__**_You may have noticed that youre often better at solving other peoples problems than your own._**

Self-compassion begins by replacing searing judgment with basic kindness.

_Regret is a retrospective emotion. It springs into being when we look backward. But we can also use it prospectively and proactively  to gaze into the future predict what we will regret, and then reorient our behaviour based on our forecast._

_Anticipating our regrets slows our thinking. It applies our cerebral brakes, giving us time to gather information and to reflect before we decide what to do._

_When we envision how awful we might feel in the future if we dont act appropriately now, that negative emotion  which we simulate rather than experience  can improve our behaviour._

Quotes from chapter Anticipating Regret

_One problem with using anticipated regrets as a decision-making tool is that were pretty bad at predicting the intensity and duration of our emotions._

_\[On predicting regrets\] were like bumbling meteorologists who keep \(mis\)predicting rain._

Anticipating regret offers a convenient tool for judgement.

_If we focus too much on what well regret, we can freeze and decide not to decide._

_Our goal should not be to always minimise regret. Our goal should be to optimise it._

_If we know what we truly regret we know what we truly value. Regret, that maddening, perplexing, and undeniably real emotion  points the way to a life well lived._

Anticipating regret can sometimes steer us away from the best decision and toward the decision that shields us from regret.

Quotes from chapter Regret and Redemption

_Our very ability to experience regret depends on our imaginations capacity to travel backward in time, rewrite events, and fashion a happier ending than in the original draft._

Open the hood of regret, and youll see that the engine powering it is storytelling.

_If our lives are the stories we tell ourselves, regret reminds us that we have a dual role. We are both the authors and the actors._

_Regret offers us the ultimate redemption narrative._

Regret depends on storytelling.

Regret makes me human. Regret makes me better. Regret gives me hope.

_If you like these The Power of Regret quotes from Dan Pink, we have a range of speakers who understand what it takes to become a great leader. Check out what our other favourite leaders have to say about listening skills, women in leadership, diversity, and being a CEO._

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_To ensure you don't have regrets, and to master the qualities of successful leaders, make learning a lifelong habit._

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