One leadership skill that can feel weird is playing coach to staff. Leaders don’t feel like they have the skills, the time, or inclination for it. Michael Bungay Stanier, bestselling author of _"The Coaching Trap"_ says he can un-weird it.

The coaching guru told delegates at today's masterclass it begins by:

*   Being lazy (don't do others work for them);
*   Being curious (ask questions);
*   Being often (every interaction becomes coach-like if you stay curious a bit longer).

In this post-event summary of his masterclass **The 5 Question Leader** we look at what is coaching?, bad work vs. good & great work, and the 5 questions to be more coach-like.

**Coaching takes too much time** : Michael: It can take 10 minutes or less.

**I still don't have time to coach (I cant add it to my list.):** Michael: You don't add anything. You just change the way you already interact.

**I don't want to be a coach:** Michael: Then be more coach-like which is a leadership behaviour.

**What is coaching anyway?** Michael: Can you stay curious a little bit longer? Can you rush to action and advice-giving a little bit slower? Coaching is, in essence, this type of behaviour. 

**But what is in it for me?** Michael: You work less hard, and you have more impact.

5 reasons we resist coaching (and Michael's pushback on them!)

At the heart of coaching is staying curious a little bit longer, says Michael.

It unlocks potential more than offering advice does. Jumping in with advice, opinions, solutions, or suggestions is self-defeating. 

We feel kind and important, but it keeps us in a vicious circle.

Staying curious a bit longer

**An over-dependant team** : The more they come to you for advice, the more you give, the more they comeetc. You get overwhelmed. They lose autonomy and self-sufficiency.

**A sense of overwhelm:** The more stuff that is on your plate, the more you lose focus on whats essential. It leads to anxiety.

**A sense of disconnect** : The purpose, the meaning, the why of the work is not apparent. The bigger picture is lost.

Vicious circles make it hard for you or them to do great work. So, what is great work?

3 vicious circles you face as a leader/manager

Bungay Stanier's books have sold a million copies, and include _The Coaching Habit_ , the best-selling book on coaching this century.

**Bad work** Mind-numbing, life-crushing work that has you asking: _This is my one and precious life, what happened?_ Has the acronym WOMBAT: Waste of Money, Bandwidth, and Time.

**Good work** Stuff that can do and you may enjoy - but has you stuck in a comfortable place. Its you at your 6 out of 10.

**Great work** Work that has more impact and more meaning. _What does the best version of who I am look like?_ Its also a point of tension; at the edge of your experience. One part of you goes I love this and another part thinks I hope no-one asks me what is going on! Its being out of your comfort zone.

The 3 different types of work

Draw a circle and think about how much time you spend in each sector.

Ask yourself how you could manage your _good_ work so you spend more time doing _great_ work?

Ask your team What's your great work? What's your good work? What's your bad work?

Break the team into pairs. Encourage discussion around What is our great work?

(For more details on different kinds of work, refer to Bungay-Stanier's book _Do More Great Work_ )

Try these exercises:

So, how do you start?

You can try Michael Bungay Stanier's 5-question framework:

**1.What's on Your Mind?** Kickstart a conversation. Listen.

**2.What's the real challenge here for you?** The spotlight shifts from the problem to the person wrestling with the problem. It invites learning and growth. Add for you to as many questions as possible.

**3.And what else? (AWE)** The recipient hears carry on. It helps to tames your advice monster (wanting to jump in with advice).

**4.What do you want? (And what else?)** - Careful with tone. Ask them to name a future state. I want to.

**5.** **What was most useful (or most valuable) for you?** People learn best when given space to reflect on what just happened. Ask them.

5 questions to be more coach-like

> “Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity. It is the most active thing you can do.” – [Chris Voss](https://thegrowthfaculty.com/articles/quotes-from-chris-voss-never-split-the-difference-/), author of "Never Split the Difference"

Playing coach to your staff can feel weird.

Michael Bungay Stanier says the only way to un-weird it is to stay curious. Use his 5-questions framework.

And stop with the advice. You're likely to give not very good advice to solve the wrong problem.

Ask: What's the real challenge here for you?

When people name the real challenge, they usually work out what they should do.

Michael Bungay Stanier

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