Imagine for a moment there's an elephant in the room. There's an issue but nobody is speaking up about it. Are _you_ going to say something? And, if so, exactly how do you say it?

Kim Scott is a plain-speaking former CEO coach at Dropbox and Twitter, and executive at Google and Apple.

She's also the founder and CEO of Candor, Inc.

Here, Kim Scott shares with the Growth Faculty her extensive experience in Silicon Valley, and how great bosses tell it like it is......

**What it means to be a boss.**

The ability to Care Personally And Challenge Directly. If you can do both, you have "radical candour".

Note: Its not:

* challenge without care $obnoxious aggression or the classic a\*\*hole boss$;
  * nor is it not caring nor challenging $manipulative insincerity$;
  * and nor is it the most common mistake made by bosses 85% of the time, which is caring personally but failing to challenge directly, $ruinous empathy$.

**Its kind to tell people theyve got spinach in their teeth.**

Kim tells a story of Radically Candid feedback from Sheryl Sandberg $when at Google, Sheryl was Kims boss$.

She praised Kims effort in a meeting, but added that Kim had said um a lot and offered to get her a speaking coach.

After Kim brushed the comment away with a hand wave, Sheryl persisted. _When you say um every third word it makes you sound stupid _.__ Kim said shed raised millions of dollars for start-ups but **no-one** had mentioned this verbal tick. _It was a giant hunk of spinach between my teeth and nobody had told me. I knew Sheryl had my back._

**_Hiring and Firing_**

*  **Hiring people**  Its so important to ask questions about the biggest mistake theyve ever made. Listen to see if they can be self-critical. If people cant see when theyre making a mistake, they cant fix it.
  *  **Firing people**  Remember, the job doesnt suck, the person doesnt suck. This job sucks for this person. Everyone can excel somewhere. Help them find that place.

**How do you ask for feedback from your direct reports?**

Dont settle for Oh no, everythings fine\! At the end meetings, Kim asks What can I start doing or stop doing to make it easier to work for me? Another boss prefers Tell me why Im smoking crack\! However you ask, wait for the answer by closing your mouth and counting to six in your head. People will say something to fill the space. Respond to what you agree with, and say youll get back to them on the rest.

**Kim Scott's Radical Candor system** :

Listen  Clarify  Debate  Decide  Persuade  Execute  Learn  Listen

**What if your employee starts crying during meeting?**

* Dont say Dont take it personally **.**
  * It IS personal to hear feedback, and its okay that someone is upset.
  * Say Im sorry youre upset. My goal is not to upset you, my goal is to help you to grow and improve.
  * If you cant stand tears, dont tell them they cant cry.
  * Tissues just exacerbate the problem. Hand them instead a bottle of water with a screw top lid. It will be a better distraction.

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